Wednesday, 26 January 2011

SUDDEN FURY (1998) Darren Ward

Most DVD releases nowadays promise the earth (but couldn't deliver cold pizza) Almost ten agos ago, i was fortunate enought to stumble across the cover for Darren Ward's SUDDEN FURY. The lurid pictures and synopsis had me hooked straight away, and I bought it immediately. I expected a cheery, low budget gore-fest...and it didn't dissapoint in those regards. But it also had something honest, heartfelt energy (that papered over the occasional dodgy accent or three) And above all else, it restored my faith in British moviemaking (which at the time was content to churn out 'Grim-Up-North Tragi-coms' or 'United-Colours-Of-beneton-Film Four Fuckoffs') Here was a UK movie for fans of Lucio Fulci or Umberto Lenzi. It also proved that a director could think outside of the 'Let's Hire Ricky Tomlinson to play an opinionated Scouser' box, and make something for the die-hard fans of gritty crime/horror movies.

(The J, the I, the M, the M, the Y, the J, the I, the M.......It's JIMMY!)

SUDDEN FURY opens with 'Henchman' Jimmy reading the riot act to a couple of inept (would be) hit men (with GCSE's in fuckupery, and little else) The two guys (partial to the 'devils dandruff') have completed the job, but were given implicit instructions to "Shoot the motherfuckers in the heads" by crime boss Mr Randell (Paul Murphy) Tempers (not to mention, some hilariously overblown southern accents) reach boiling point, when Jimmy points out that they won't be receiving the rest of their fee. Mr Randall (who is sat in a car outside) bursts in, and together with Jimmy, they proceed to punch, kick and shoot the shit out of the two 'defectives'

(Randell about to get De Niro on yo' ass!)

We cut to a darkened room, and a guy named Walker receives a phone call, informing him of a new assignment....cue the opening titles...fuck yeah! (this is my kind of movie)

The location switches to Randells office, as he gripes about his on-going war with rival Harris, whilst bollocking Jimmy for hiring such lowlife fucker-uppers in the first place. Randell thinks he's got his shit sewn up, until he receives a call from Mr Pike (the late, great David Warbeck) a hit man for Harris, (who's sadism is matched only by his chronic asthma) Making Randell listen as he tortures two of his henchmen, by burning their faces off with a blow torch (ouch!) Pike explains that further 'examples' like this, will be made, unless the stolen drugs are returned at a planned meet up. Randell hits upon the idea of hiring freelance muscle (and all round tough motherfucker) 'Walker' (Nick Rendell) to be the bagman.

(Warbeck going all out in his memorable role as Mr Pike)

Walker (tough bastard he is) arrives at Randells, and after a minor altercation, kills the doorman (as you do) rather than be frisked. Randell explains the details of the meet-up, and even agrees to pay him a cool million, as long as (quote) "Not one of those Cocksuckers is left alive" Walker agrees, and the meet is set for the next day. Unbeknown to Walker, all he'll be getting is a bullet in the head as payment from Jimmy on completion of the job.

(Walker...Texas Homecare)

The meet is at an abandoned warehouse(tm) were Pike squares up to (quote) "Living Legend" Walker. Much swearing, macho posturing and an asthmatic fit soon give way to a brutal shoot out. This is were director Darren Ward delivers the goods. Camerawork, pyrotechnic and squib work are top notch throughout this movie, but this initial orgy of bullets comes out of nowhere (and certainly made this viewer sit up) Torso's explode, Head wounds gush the red stuff, many 'clocks are stopped' and several 'heads are put to bed' during this sequence, culminating in Walker getting the drop on Pike (with a close-range shotgun blast to the stomach) and making off with the money and cocaine. Jimmy attempts the planned double-cross on Walker, but gets a bullet in the leg, plus a warning to "Tell Randell, I'm coming to get him!"

(Doctor, doctor, I've got this spot on my head.....Ah, nevermind)

Walker wakes up from a bad dream in the house of his only trustworthy friend Alex. Both agree that it's best if Walker lays low (whilst his wounds heal) On the other side of town, Jimmy (disgraced and limping) is met outside hospital and brought to Randells house, as the crime boss is tucking into the most horrid looking lasagne possible! (see below) Randell has jimmy sent away for his ineptitude, and never afraid to get his own hands dirty, arranges (through his 'plant' at Harris' house) to slaughter his rival, his wife and even his kids (dig those TMNT sweaters) and even double-cross the snitch that got him in there...What a bastard!

(Fuck the violence.....This is the sort of stuff the BBFC should take umbrage to)

Alex is skipping town for a few days 'on business', leaving Walker home alone. Jimmy returns from Spain with his leg healed, and a desire to get back into Randell's good books. Randell explains that he slaughtered Harris and his wife (and gloats about killing the kids, in a very funny sequence) to a bemused (but nonetheless promoted) Jimmy. Meanwhile, Alex is kidnapped in a car park. He is later tied to a chair, tortured and questioned by a man named Lennox (the amazing Chris Tarrant sound-a-like, Victor D thorn) and his sidekick Marcus. Lennox wants to know the whereabouts of the "Cash and Coke" that Walker absconded with.

(Randell gives true meaning to the term 'Turtle Power' as breaks a childs neck)

Walker receives a house call from a horny prostitute with an atrocious Scottish accent (Laid on by Alex, as a gift to his chum) Meanwhile, despite having his knees and fingers broken, Alex goes to the grave rather than rat out his friend to Lennox.
Whilst Walker is entertaining his 'Tartan-Tart', he receives a phone call, tipping him off about Alex, prompting him to abandon the rumpo, much to the displeasure of his 'Highland Fling' (with her heartfelt lament of "Where the fuck are you going, you haven't even come yet?")

("Listen you slag, I'm paying you....Now get your kit on and fuck off!")

It seems that Randells number is up, as we witness him getting blown away, whilst reading ill-fated newspaper 'TODAY' (oh the embarrassment!) in his garden, by an unseen assailant. Whilst we ponder such double and triple crosses, we are treat to a (obligatory) round of 'Tooling-Up' and 'Photo Burning' , as Walker jumps in his Ford Fiesta, and heads out on the road marked 'Revenge.

(Mr Lovebuckets 'Exploding Tonic Water' gets them every time)

Staking out Randell's factory, Walker goes about 'Seagaling' a whole bunch of guards in a brutal fashion (using guns, rusty saws and his fists and fingers of fury) whilst still having time for the occasional 'war' flashback (this one has a certain Major Lennox, so now we've established 'previous' between them, you just know there's gonna be a shitstorm when these two hard bastards throw down)


Poor Marcus is gutted (literally and graphically) by Walker, during his onslaught on the compound. All Lennox can do is shout foul-mouthed 'Chris Tarrant-isms' down his walkie-talkie, to his ever-dwindling troops. Upon finding Alexs' bloody and battered corpse, walker goes apeshit, killing a shitload of guards, before cauterising a gunshot wound, teaming up with Jimmy (who's become a good guy) and finally squaring off with Lennox, in a battle Royale Mano-O-Mano, kung-fu-athon (replete with more flashbacks, a car chase, explosions and a human fireball) Walker gets his 'Sudden Fury', but exits the movie in a shot up car, badly wounded and screaming for his life.

(Once Upon A Time In The SouthEast)

SUDDEN FURY filled an important void in my life, when i was becoming disillusioned with low budget, independent cinema. Sure, some of the performances are a little hokey. But trust me, you've not lived til you've heard Victor D Thorn shout "WALKER!!!!" down a walkie-talkie (that said, he's great at shouting "MITCHELL!!" down a mobile phone, as well) Budgetory flaws aside, it's a stunning debut and it has a genuine passion for the genre and it's fans. No amount of Hollywood mega dollars can buy what this movie has (heart and a love for not only it's source material, but for it's audience) It can easily sit alongside Jim Van Bebbers DEADBEAT AT DAWN, Lindsay Shonteff's HOW SLEEP THE BRAVE and David Kent-Watson's G.B.H. (take these four movies, add alcohol, and have a great movie me, be there, done that!)

("I told you about my 'Saw Neck' in confidence, and you went ahead and spilt your guts anyhow")

It takes guts (in every sense of the word) to pull of such stuff with a low budget....But also a certain skill, to make it so damn entertaining. As my review for his recent A DAY OF VIOLENCE stated, Darren Ward is a name to look out for. Whereas Tarantino needs to spend $80m to make a movie look low budget...Ward is the polar opposite. May his hunger remain and keep him true to the medium, he's clearly so passionate about?

(Burn Baby Burn, Tesco Inferno)

SUDDEN FURY is a blood soaked B-movie Ballet of Brutality. And if you like the look of this movie, be sure to buy it's upcoming DVD re-release (on the 28th of Febuary...wahey...on my sisters birthday!)

Features include:

Deleted Scenes
Extended Scenes
Applying the gore (40min makeup footage)
Photo Gallery

Nightmares (multi award winning short film 10mins, 2004 Super16)
Bitter Vengeance (17min short film that Sudden Fury is based on)
Audio Commentary (Director Darren Ward & actor Nick Rendell)

New Featurette - '12 years on the Fury still burns' (32mins) including David Warbecks unseen death scene!!!

I defy any self respecting fan of Horror, Crime, Exploitation, Gore, Indie movies not to be blown away by this sick and twisted shocker. Highly Recommended!

Sunday, 16 January 2011

THE KILLING MAN (1994) Jeff Wincott

One of my favourite DTV rentals (and one of my first DVD purchases) was this classic Canuxploitation flick, THE KILLING MAN (a.k.a, KILLING MACHINE in the UK) staring Jeff (the ref) Wincott and 'Rent-A-Bastard' Michael Ironside.

Heavily bandaged amnesiac (Wincott) wakes up in a hospital bed (but clearly NOT a hospital ward) with nothing but flashbacks from a fiery explosion. Doctors enter his darkened room to remove his bandages and reveal that he's had extensive plastic surgery, resulting in a new face.

(with 'Special-Guest-Star' - Bruce Jenner)

Yet everyone remains tight lipped about who he is, why he's here, and why he's force fed violent images on a TV screen. On the plus side, he has a buxom blonde nurse strip off and indulge in (softcore, 90's style, saxophone accompanied) sex with him (Shame on you for not mentioning that in SICKO, Michael Moore!)

("I've got some good news, and bad news")

Enter Dr Green (Ironside) head of a sinister government agency. Green fills in the missing gaps, by explaining to the amnesiac that his real name is Harlin Garrett, that the flashbacks are memories of his former profession (top hitman for the mob) and in payment for his new face and identity, Green would like to recruit him for future work for the "Safety of state security"

("Sign the 'Don't-Throw-A-Knife-In-My-heart' clause of your contract, Jeff?")

But first Green must re-awaken Garrets killer instincts.....First with a fight with the employed guards (led by Greens henchman, Turner) and secondly a low-life Rastafarian criminal (who has just shot an elderly Korean couple eight times each in the face for $73) who Green tosses into Garrets room like a piece of meat.

("Take that, you ruffian!")

Garrett proves his worth to Green (after killing the criminal in self defence) and is set free, with his new given identity of 'Danny Grange'. However Green Assures Garrett that he is watching his every move, and can have him killed at any time, should he try to run?

(That damn 'Stephen Baldwin' gets everywhere?)

Racked with guilt over his past (and 'non-plussed' at his future) Garrett walks the streets, sullen, angry and replete with self loathing voice overs. He contemplates suicide at one point, but decides (like George Michael and Andrew Ridgley, before him) to 'Choose Life' (fuck 'Trainspotting'...i hate that overrrated turd of a movie...WHAM rock!)

("Made it ma.......Top of the video charts!")

A chance meeting in a strip bar, reunites Garrett with a former lover (and hinted 'ex-lover') Jane (who doesn't recognise Garrett at first, until he beats the shit out of a Narc for Dr Green, and a gang of drunks) Jane explains that it's no longer safe to be associated with garrett and begs him to leave her alone, for both of their sakes.

(Jeff reminded Jane that the 'Linda Hamilton' look, was sooooo... 1984)

Strolling through a fog filled alleyway, Garrett stops (i.e, 'kicks the living shit out of') two hoods giving a hobo the 'Rodney King Workout' (one of them threatens Garret with "I'm gonna cut your nuts off, motherfucker") Garrett leaves them 'Fubar' were he found them (and with nuts intact) he turns slowly, to notice the hobo extracting brutal retribution on his two (now unconscious) assailants, such is the circle of violence, that our troubled hero knows only too well.

(Jeff went off his trolley)

For his first kill, Green demmands that Garrett kill Jane, as she knows about his new face and identity. Garret agrees, but instead tells Jane to leave town, rather than kill her. He lies to Green (who knows bullshit when he smells it) and upon returning to his apartment, Garret is given a travel case, with Jane's severed head inside (obviously a 'one-take-shot', as the actress clearly twitches her face) There really is no escape from Dr Green and his shadowy agency (hell, even David Bradley would be getting the 'Hershey-Squirts' about now)

(Do not ask for 'head, as refusal often offends)

Garretts next 'Mark' is a gay rights activist, Tom Baker (No...not the fourth Doctor Who) and our hero poses as his limousine driver, and later a potential love interest, to lure the poor sap to his death. After murdering him (off screen) a news report later announces that "Baker was a victim of a bloody sado-masochistic scene that went too far" (so no Columbo's were harmed during that murder investigation, i guess?)

("Just one puff" .... "Fag in mouth" .... Oooh-eerrr!)

Green informs Garrett that his next target is (nosey) 'investigative reporter' David Conner, who is seen discussing his latest 'scoop' with a female scientist, Dr Ann Kendall (more about her, later) Later that night, garrett attempts to kill Conner, but is saved the job, when the reporters (can't-shoot-for-shit) wife attempts to defend her husband (although once again, Columbo would sniff straight through a bullshit 'accidental-shooting-of-husband-plea' before the first ad-break, methinks?)

(Silly bitch, at least look were you're shooting?)

Next on Greens hit-list is the formentioned Ann Kendall, who works at a research centre for AIDS ( activist......nosey reporter.....AIDS refreshingly 90's) Garret decides to befriend the shy, workaholic Dr Kendall, by first pickpocketing her wallet, and then returning it, and also saving her from the over amorous advances of her co-worker (and chief of security) the (under-sexed, over curious) Steve Rodgers (who had previously wooed her with "Working with a homosexual disease all day, can't be good for you?")

("It's not quite miseltoe, but it'll do?")

A few more chance encounters between Garrett and Anne, winds up in (another) softcore sex scene, but it seems that Garrett is not just another 'splash and dash' merchant, he's falling for the dame, thus developing a conscience about killing her. So instead, he opts to break into her laboratory to steal her tests results and reports (which worryingly hint at the prospect of AIDS being a engineered disease...tut, tut, tut, naughty government!)

(Dr Anne Kendall, AIDS researcher ... sleeps with strangers on the second date)

However, with his ego (and ass) bruised, nosey chief of security, Steve rodgers has been doing some snooping on Garretts mysterious past, and is waiting to confront him with his findings. Garrett is even more shocked to find Anne waiting at her lab (and even worse, Dr Green and his henchmen are closing in on the whole shebang!)

("Give me your clothes, boots and hair")

After killing Rodgers (in self defence) Garrett explains to an hysterical Anne that he never intended to kill her, but that they both should skip town (or 'Toronto-Pronto' ho-ho!) Too late...the evil Dr Green and his goons turn up, shoot the shit out of every thing (including Anne) so it's up to garrett to get her to a hospital, whilst indulging in several bouts of 'Heroic Bloodshed' (Canadian style...don't worry Mr Woo) and culminating in a bone-breaking show down with #1 henchman, Turner (replete wth slo-mo punch fu)

(Jeff found a great way to pick up women)

Just as he thinks he's got himself (and a badly injured Anne) out of the building, Green pulls a gun on the love-struck couple. Garrett has a trick (plus a knife) up his sleeve for Dr Green (bye, bye, you nasty Canadian Homophobe!) And we the humble viewer are treat to a 'knifes-eye' shot as the blade heads towards the governmental rotter!

("You promised me in picture five, Jeff")

The police arrive, Anne is carted off to hospital. Garett however, is arrested and taken away in a police car (ready to atone for his previous sins) Sorry folks, no happy endings here (try Beneath The Planet Of The Apes if you want laughs)

(The poignant ending)

THE KILLING MAN is not a out-and-out 'action' flick as such. Wincott kicks a lot of asses (lays a fare bit of pipe, as well) but this movie has a much darker tone than his other flicks. The AIDS storyline, the downbeat scenario, the killing of innocents, and a murderer for a hero, set it apart from routine biff em' ups of the nineties. And i think it's a neat little STV action-thriller. Producer Damian Lee always seemed to be involved in the 'darker' Wincott movies. And this is indeed one of them.

Wincott (as usual) puts in a great performance, handling both and the action and drama with equal aplomb. Ironside is his usual smugly sinister self, and lends a bit of added weight to what is presumably a low-budget (tax-shelter) Canadian production. The rest of the cast are decent enough. The production/camera work are workmanlike and professional enough (the picture quality on my SIMITAR DVD is pretty ropey though!)

Friday, 7 January 2011

DEATH GAME (2001) Joe Lara

Sat up in the clouds (at DVD Heaven) I was trying to think of a good review (until i woke up and remembered I'm a lousy reviewer anyhow) So i thought I'd delve through my (extensive) back-catalogue of (rightfully) obscure DVD releases. And after much musing, i came across this bizarre hybrid of various genres, which i like to call 'HE GOT DEATH WISH GAME' more commonly known as DEATH GAME.

(Slightly different name......Same shit!)

DEATH GAME is credited as being a 2001 production (though it looks like it was made circa 1987) Only a few (lame) hip-hop beats, and 'Michael Jordan' posters prove otherwise. It's also part of a new (new) CANNON MOVIES spin off, known as NEW CANNON INC (which makes it sound more like a computer printer, than a studio on a comeback) Plus it's a 'Menahem Golan joint' (so depending on your tastes, you can stop reading now....or at least take pleasure from my many spelling mistakes, throughout this review)

The pic opens up with a basketball game (at a high school) between 'The Tigers' and 'The Supremes'. The cheesy synth/rock soundtrack also highlight the catchy self-titled 'Ditty' which plays over this (rather) un-energetic game. The Tigers star player Jackie Stewart is heading for the NBA, and his coach, Mickey Haiden (Joe Lara) is determined to keep his star pupil on the straight and narrow. However, when two Russian hoods enter the game at half time and try to lure Jackie with a sports car (a $7,000 Hyundai Sonata) and a bag of 'Devils Dandruff, the Coach finds the drugs in the locker-room, he goes ape-shit and will risk (seemingly) everything, to help his star pupil.

(Sadly Bokeem Woodbine was unavailable....and worse still, Joe Lara WAS!)

After a coked-up Jackie under performs in the second half, Haiden confronts the two hoods, you laugh at him. And he also follows Jackie home...and gets (rather uncomfortably) friendly with Jackie's mother (who keeps asking the Coach to call her mother, and declares "My house is your house")

(Jackie's Mom talls the neighbours that "No-one steals from the 'House Of Dolemite')

Actually, the movie is littered with misplaced parental responsibilities like this. Jackie's mom seems more maternal towards the coach, than her own son...and the coach (literally) sacrifices his families safety, over Jackie's career. I'd like to think there was pre-written undercurrent of 'dynamic repression' built into the plot...but it's probably just bad writing (and believe me, the movie is littered with such)

(Coach Haiden, with his overlooked family, and unlikely mother)

Coach follows Jackie to a nightclub (called 'The Reactor') and sees his star player, getting all friendly with the Russian Goons (plus a few ditzy sluts) and asks Jackieto leave, but is bluntly told to "Fuck Off!" Haiden confronts the two hoods, and covers them in the leftover 'cocaine'...which promptly leads to them kicking the shit out of him (Lara's no big action star in this one folks, so get used to it)

("Who ordered coke?")

Jackie, the hoods and whores all head to a (not-so) luxurious mansion, in which the would-be Michael Jordan, indulges in some 'water sports' in the Jacuzzi with the two bimbos. Meanwhile, the two hoods report to their boss, the sinister Mr Big, who wants to lure Jackie over to the darkside. With a house/henchmen/sluts of this calibre at his disposal, you'd expect the bad guy to be some suave, handsome, musclebound villain...............well, instead of that, we get Billy-Fucking-Drago (probably the reason i bought this dvd in the first place) playing crimelord, extraordinaire, Shakes Montrose (great name BTW) replete with crazy hand gestures, Sam Seed wig, and monologues that would make Anders Hove wince.

(One for the ladies)

Montrose doesn't want the Coach meddling in his business, and sends his goons round to give the 'Haiden Family' a scare. Haiden (still beat up from the nightclub fiasco) is at hospital with his wife, leaving his young son, home alone (with Guard dog Bubbles, as protection) The hoods taunt the boy and kill his dog. When Coach returns home, he finds his traumatised son in the bath-tub, holding a (obviously, fake) dead dog (which resembles a white fur coat) covered in ketchup. With a warning smeared in blood across the walls that states:

"#1 DOG"
"#2 ?"

The police arrive at the Haiden household, and an old friend, sympathetic police Chief Canton (the legend that is Richard Lynch) assures Haiden that he'll receive police protection 24/7 until the culprits are found. However (and let's face it, you didn't expect Richard Lynch to be a fucking choir-boy now, did you?) it turns out that the Chief is on the 'payroll' of the (ever-so-good-looking) Montrose.

(And another for the ladies)

Meanwhile Jackie convinces Montrose to make peace with the coach. And they all go out for a meal (witness Jackies mom look aghast at the prospect of $1000 food, which looks like plain old soup to you and I!) When Montrose pulls Haiden to one side, to cut a shifty deal over Jackie's future...the coach refuses. Montrose (slightly pissed off) later sends his goons round Haidens home (which isn't particularly well police protected) to make good on their earlier blood-smeared threat. Once inside, they procede to rape the shit out of the Coaches wife (in a genuinely uncomfortable scene, that sits uneasy with the surrounding cheese) But i suppose CANNON would never shy away from the odd rape scene in their movies, so I guess we're stuck with it (or maybe they should have retitled it 'FORCED-LOVE AND BASKETBALL'...ho-ho!)

(Oh the 'symmetry' of those fortress gates)

With his wife raped, hospitalised and in a coma, and his young son (further) traumatised.....The coach seems (oddly) still concerned about the whereabouts of Jackie, and heads over to Montroses (ahem) mini-mansion...not so much to have it out, but to rescue his star player (and hopefully win the finals?) Chief Canton is already at Montose's laying down what little law is left in him, which leads to the following (classic) threat/riddle/limerick/tongue-twister:

"You know that I know you know"
"And I know, you know I know"

(Billy realised exactly were this motion picture would be heading)

Baffling Dialogue aside, the chiefs campfire is well and truly pissed on, when montrose shows a Video-Cassette of the many 'pay-off's' Canton has taken. Montrose decides to hold a (quote) "hunting party" with the police chief (possible 'karma' for OPEN SEASON, 1974?) and thankfully (and at long last) a shitstorm of action, bullets and crashing wobbly gates enliven the tedium (and most likely, ugobbles up the movies entire $4, 000 budget in one badly-filmed swoop) During the Gunplay, Coach Haiden turns up and starts bringing the 'ruckus to all the motherfuckaz' but is too late to save Canton, who is shot by montrose in a (4ft high, yet made to look much deeper) backyard canyon. The police soon arrive (as usual) 1 minute after the carnage ends. Montrose claims that Coach shot Canton, and the police totally buy it. Basic forensics (and the most retarded common sense) would say otherwise, but none-the-less the Coach is detained (and still seems more upset about missing the play-offs) than his wife, child and predicament.

("I love you to death....I love you to death...I love you to death...Oooh Baby!")

However, one cop Detective Stone (a 'Village Person', if I've ever seen one) sees through the bullshit, and lets Haiden free (partly because there's no genuine fucking evidence, and also because he wants to see the 'Tigers' win the final) So after a brief visit to see his dying wife (who is completely awake, dressed and recovered, after being in a coma for a day) the coach heads to the basketball guide his team to the top, and Jackie to the NBA (and trust me, it seems the ONLY real priority in his life)

(A post rape/coma Mrs Haiden, clearly affected by such atrocities)

The game starts off, and the Tigers aren't doing so well. Jackie doesn't seem focused (no shit, he's been loosely involved in and around 7-10 murders in the last 24 hours) and things don't get any better, when Montrose and his two goons turn up at the game, and try to dish out the cocaine again. Coach catches Jackie with the powder, but confesses that he'd never touch the 'stuff again.....and (a quick pep talk later) Jackie goes out for the second half feeling better. The coach (who waits in the locker-room mmmm?) is suddenly attacked by the two Russian hoods (one of whom, he shoots dead) The second goon is about to blab all to the Coach, but is shot by non other than Montrose (who fires off another long-winded speech)

(Accion Mutante always targetted the 'Beautiful ones')

The police arrive (on fucking time for a change) and arrest Montrose, and despite having just murdered someone in cold blood, Detective Stone (who quite clearly has a 'thing' for Coach) allows the coach to carry on the second half of the game. Needless to say, Jackie improves, the Tigers win (and hell, even Haidens traumatised son calls Jackie's mom "Grandma")

(Fuck yeah!)

DEATH GAME is (on the surface) a flat out bad movie. Basketballs clearly change colour, during dunks, the games are lethargic, badly coreographed snooze-fests, and the lady playing Jackie's mom is the worst actress since Lady Reed. It doesn't contain a great deal of action, which wouldn't be too bad, except that no-one wants to see Joe Lara play 'Hamlet' (i know i fucking don't!) Were it not for the star quality of Billy Drago and Richard Lynch, this movie would not have bee made. Yet for it's many faults, it's still a goofy movie (minus THAT nasty rape sequence) that will appeal to bad movie lovers, everywhee. Not much of a glowing recommendation...but it's cheesy, contains just enough sleazy exploitation and (like the 'cheep cider' I guzzle) eventually gets you there!

(Just one more, for the horny ladies out there)